Red Alert

so right now, there's this really good looking asian guy sitting in front of me. i see him quite often in the library. i'm not sure if he's chinese or vietnamese. i know he's a foreign student because he has one of those little pocket translator things that all the japanese students have. 

aside from this, today has been pretty up and down. i found out that andrea is apparently dating a new guy. not only did i not know about her break up with matt, but i'm in shock and disappointment as to how she can rebound so quickly. i mean, it's only been about 2-3 weeks (i think). i'm not 100% sure, seeing as we've had a falling out. i'm not in the mood to explain the situation in words ~ i know, [i think] she knows, that's that. if she wants to continue being friends with me, something has to change. i'm very much tired of being unappreciated with my friends. i know God teaches us to serve and to not expect so much out of people, but there comes a time when i just have to distance myself from people that i'm not completely sure values me as a person.

andrea says she misses me, but if she really did she wouldn't have avoided me for so long. i don't understand anymore. she's digging her own pit, and i don't know how much effort i'm going to put into pulling her out later. i've been there for her for everything ~ well, all the bad, anyway. i guess i'm not totally surprised that things have gotten to the way it is now. while she says i'm her best friend, i don't remember the last time she's actually hung out with me outside of school. she was either with matt or at home. i can honestly say that over the years it's been very difficult to be her friend. 

i'm still trying to live the optimistic side of life. i know things are full of shit, but what's new? i can bitch about it all i want, but i guess i should find a way to do something [anything] about it.